Work is Love Made Visible

This rings so true with me today.  This is my daily pursuit, and most often my experience.
I will keep this close by for the days ahead of me.  


WORK IS LOVE MADE VISIBLEReal success is achieved when you like what you do.No one can succeed in any endeavor that they don't like.If you don't love what you're doing, then don't do it.Your chances of success are directly proportionalto the degree of pleasure you derive from what you do.Do something that you have a deep personal interest in.Do something you'd enjoy spending twelve to fifteen hours a dayworking at, and the rest of the time thinking about.Don't set compensation as your goal.Find work you like and the compensation will follow.Work is not your punishment.It's your reward, your strength and your pleasure.When your vocation becomes your vacation,you'll never work another day in your life.THE DAILY GURU©2006 by Max SteingartReproduce freely but maintain © notice

listening in stillness

An Affirmation of CourageI no longer confuse what I seem to be with Who I Really Am. I still mymind and greet my courage. Here in my solitude I am not burdened bythoughts of the past. I have no fear of the future. I listen to theVoice of my soul inside me and I allow it to guide my life.I awaken to the sound of my life and feel my well-being as I placemyself in the hands of the One Spirit, God. The Consciousness thatbrought my Spirit here is the Consciousness that will guide me throughmy life - safely. My path is illuminated with pure white light as Itake my first step toward my authentic life.Every question I have is met with an answer when I still my mind tolisten. I trust in the message of my soul and my way is made clear.This day is the birth mother of tomorrow and I create my tomorrows bythe choices I make today. I know that I am fulfilling the dream thatwas always meant for me, as I take each step of my life forward withlove and courage.I bind myself to positive faith and allow the Power for good to surgearound and through me. I charge myself with radiant I Am light, andembrace all Power given to me from above and below. My courage dispelsthe limits and inhibitions of my past. I will live each day from thismoment on in accordance with the message from my soul and be liftedinto the future of myself. I am indeed blessed. And so it is.Maureen Moss

Your moment

When you sit in the midst of it all, and trust the unfolding of your life, quiet words will whisper into your soul and tell you where to go.   When you get quiet long enough… sometimes longer than you think you must,  you will find the path and the road to take to the present moment.   This is your day.  Right here and right now is your moment.  The only moment.  The only moment that matters.  Its here, it is yours… for the asking.

I am here to create a space

****

I am here to create a space.  My home is open to share with the people I love and the people that pass through my life.  

**

Who will share your time

Be where you are.
And give what you have to give.
Don’t worry that it is not good enough.  

People who need to receive what you have to give, will come to you.
People that need something else, maybe even something more advanced or more refined, will go to someone else.  There will also be people who are not ready to embrace what you have to offer. They too will pass and go.  
That is not a judgment of you or where you are at.  It simply is a matter of divine timing acting in the lives of many people.  
You are where you are meant to be at this time.   Be yourself and give of your gifts freely and with intuition.   You will know who is meant to share time with you.

follow your dreams

Goals are one dimensional… in the moment that you decide that the goal will be, it has life and energy to it, but often becomes a deadline and a vague and luminous expectation.   The life around you is not so stagnant and thus your dreams will do best, to also not be so stagnant.

When you set a goal, its best to give the goal a life of its own and let it evolve and change with each passing instance.  Those are the goals we love for the length of our strange progressions and unexpected detours.   The detours can be the unfolding of new dreamy delights … but we have to be willing to go there.    Follow your dreams….   yes follow your dreams… they are leading you….


Sometimes the best thing we can do, is to figure out what we DON’T  want to do.

sipping tea

Listen to the quiet voice inside

"To know how to choose a path with heart is to learn how to follow intuitive feeling."

-- Jean Shinoda Bolen

What ideas are teasing you these days?

Are you aware of any little gems floating around your consciousness these days? Charged little thoughts that beckon you to pay attention to them? Inspiration and intuition often bring powerful new ideas to us very subtly, very quietly. When you become aware of being teased by an idea, follow it!

"Get your ideas on paper and study them. Do not let them go to waste!"

-- Les Brown

July 10, 2006

Its very hard sometimes to know your own intuitions intentions.

I know there is a place in me that is full and does feel unsatisfied.  It is not careful or hesitant about life.   There is a place inside of me that is free and comfortable with all people and all affairs.   This is the part of me that I call up from my soul and into my life.  It is a truer me, untarnished with experiences in lack or despair.  

Sitting and writing everyday makes me a better person.  writing makes me happier than I am when I am not writing.
I sit with my music, my candle, my tea or coffee… and I wait.  It’s the waiting that is better than anything else.   Waiting for my true thoughts and feelings from the hours since last writing to come to the front.   And while all the inspiration, confusion, love, and passion come up from inside me I give birth to all the things that shouldn’t be kept inside a person.  

I guess I seem a little silly sometimes to people.   All my oddities.   I might tame them a bit if I thought I could.   But I often lack the self control of my self expression.   hahaha   That makes me laugh.  You know I am glad I lack self control of my self expression.   I like being unwilling to hold back.  I like being irrepressible and unyielding in my desire to share my self.  And if I throw in a little discernment in, I guess most of the time it serves me.  

I love people.  I love so many people.   Some drive me crazy for their insistence…and so I try not to do the same to others (when I can help it )    But most people delight me and I hope that I delight most people.  People expressing themselves makes me happy.   All their multicolored personalities and quirks.  I love their little funny things.  The shoes they choose to wear.  Like the woman I think of now… who wears here cute little heels even in the rain.    And my other friend who wears the same shoes, every single day and seems to have done so every single day for as long as I have known him.   And my friend who wears hats and scarves like a southern belle.  My friend who wears so many bright colors and has inspired me to find my color flare.
These people… they connect to something in me.   And even if I laugh at them a bit on occasion.  I love them so.   I love them for all their quirks and little delicious faults that make them human and beautiful to me.    

This morning I chose tea instead of coffee.   I felt calmer than coffee.  I have been drinking coffee every morning for the last year, and this morning I remembered a time when I didn’t do that.  I remembered a time when I didn’t wake up to an alarm clock, and didn’t need a jolt of hot black java to move me into action.    Sometimes even skipping the coffee all together.  Sometimes sipping tea instead.    Because I like it when the world moves at a slower pace.  I like it when I move by my inspirations and not my to do list.  I like to sit as long as I need to, until I can’t stand to sit any longer, and must must must get up and go attack my latest mind work.  
So today I sip tea instead and I anticipate a wonderful day filled with these things.   Have a great day world.  

You are Here

You are a wonderful human being. You are strong and capable of imagining, desiring, creating, and manifesting anything you want in your life. The life of God breathes in you and you are a reflection of divinity. Your soul is evolving and your life is changing in ways that you want.

Today is your day for taking one more step down the road of your choosing. You are here to create a life of wonder, and you are! You are here to create a life full of love, and you are!
You are here to be you, to let the shallow negative shells around your pure self fall to the ground beside you and melt away. You are evolving and growing into your destiny. This is your place in the world.

You are divine in spite of your failings. You are beautiful in spite of the ugly, defeating things that you expose your heart to over and over again. You are complete and whole from the inside out.
You are here today to live, to breathe, to walk forward in your life and explore its unfolding.

~leslie alison

again and again

Good morning little life.
I love you. I love making it back to you again and again and again.   Back to the soul of it all.  The heart of my life.  
And I meet you here… here on this paper with these words.  And the writing slows me and gets me here.   Always the music.  Always the candles.  Always the words.

Unafraid of the day.  Unafraid of all that will fall in between me and my greatest hopes.   They tumble in front of my like stones in the path.   And I run down the path and  jump over them, like hurdles, daily in pursuit of my ambitions.  Pursuit of my life’s greatest expression.    

This moring the music is from a yesterday of years ago.   Six years to be exact… but it sounds like music of just yesterday, 24 hours ago.   It trickles down into me and makes me feel like I am ok.   This music is just good to me.

Here’s to the day… here’s to staying on the path day after day after day.   Here’s to feeling like you are going no where and then waking up one day and realizing you are somewhere you never thought you would find.  

Soft Eyes on Me

I think there is more growing in me.   Growing  in a place that has always been plannted with rich seeds.  Now just accepting the raining waters and the healing sunlight and turning seed into crop.

Today is nice.   Today is gentle…. as are my eyes.  They have felt soft and gentle since yesterday sometime, when I got in this grooove.

Nova in the Sprinkler

 

Yesterday has created who we are today

Thought for the Day…

Yesterday has created who we are today.

Today is our chance to recreate.

My goals for tomorrow begin in my life right now… today.  

Beautiful Morning

beautiful morning
thank you for your gifts
thank you for your generosity

to my soul

the sun shines on my sidewalk and lights up the dew like
delicious berries on each leaf
makes me want to lick it up
taste it
get a little bit of the bite of this life
around me

this is my morning and
i am grateful

nothing to do yet
except look at the dew
and relax in this space

Give your Gift

Give your Gift

We all have a gift.  We all have a thing we are capable of doing Today.   With confidence.  With love.

I firmly belive that I am always in a position to mentor and be mentored.
There is always someone beside me that needs something I have to offer, and there is always someone beside me that can offer me what I am needing to receive.

New color

I am so happy to wake up this morning to a beautiful new color surrounding me. The "bleeding" red wallpaper is gone! Taylor said the walls looked to be bleeding with all those red swirly patterns all around us. Now I have indigo to inspire me while I work.

The weekend was good. I hope yours was too.
Its supposed to thunderstorm most of the beginning of this week. I don't think it looks much like thunderstorms out there this morning... but if it does rain... I am going to curl up on the couch and take a nap or read. Its a great day to relax rain or shine.

Cheers world. Drink up the goodness.

Empowered

Empowered.

Do you feel empowered to be who you are designed to be.
Do you feel empowered to live as you are already capable of living?
Or do you shrink.

Today I am grabbing on to the word empowered.
God's spirit breathes into me the power to make this body come alive. this heart come to love. this soul come to dance.
when I hold my breath and wait to be ordained with life, I am shrinking away from my greatest truth. I am already able to live. I am already here to give. I am already whole and completely present.

This is my truth today. So be it.
Amen.

Beat of a Different Drummer

I am so busy doing both absolutely fascinating and mundane things in life right now.
The hours of my days right now are completely full... to the max... the limit... with barely enough time to replenish myself. But just enough. Just enough because I KNOW that if I don't I won't keep going like this. And for at least a little bit longer I do want to keep going like this :)

So I am not writing much on here. I am still writing in my journal world. Because it is my personal writing reflection time that keeps me from going crazy.

The days and months will unfold to allow me more time with this creative endevour. I have my heart set on publishing more of my conversations with the universe.

For now... here's a link that a friend sent me today. I like it. Interesting. Check it out. http://keirsey.com/drummers.html

Wishing you ten thousand blessings...

new today

today is cold. i don't like it and so i will write in tiny uncapitolized letters to show how small and short and tiny and COLD i feel. i think i am shrinking into a frozen little ice cube. you know that feeling when you keep pulling in closer and closer to yourself in some strange attempt to mainting body heat.

ok. i will stop tying such strange and unusual things. i will not stop typing in lowercase though.
i will resist the urge.

its cold. its the first day of spring. and instead of having spring fever... i have spring freeezer.
its awful. i should be outside planting my morning glory seeds on the front side of the white picket fence (the one i want remove from our yard, but probably won't do until next fall.) instead of planting seeds i am slurping coffee at eastbongo and sitting on my coat because the chair is too cold. i can't complain... this is nice. very nice. but the latte would prefer it had been iced, had the temperatures not dropped so low.

"anything else i should say taylor?" i ask across the table
"what are you writing about" he says
"just stuff." i say

"tell them rivers run in circles" he says
and i stop the dialouge because this poetic idea he came up with today is really not working for me.

The question is not what are you going to do tomorrow, next weekend, with your life...

The question is what are you going to do TODAY?

To be really happy now.

What is inspiring you this very exact moment.
Do it.
Don't wait.
Taste your life right now.

You can put your mind in order

You can put your mind in order by focusing on one thing at a time, doing it well, and appreciating the opportunity that this doing offers.
You can put your life in order by admitting to yourself what you really want to experience, and taking one step at a time that will move you closer to that experience.
You can put your environment in order by clearing out the old, worn-out, broken, and useless things that are taking up space.
You can put your spirit in order by replacing fearful, doubtful, angry thoughts with thoughts about the grace of God, and by accepting that God’s purpose, plan and will for you is the orderly development of your soul’s identity.

~author unknown

ahhh sigh

ahhh.  sigh.  happy sigh.

There at least ten reflective pieces I could have written between last time I sat down and now.  But I never put them on paper.  They just danced around in my head.  
Today I am sitting here.
Starring at the wallpaper on the wall and thinking…hm… this is my life.
This is how its playing out.    I like it.

love the questions

I came across this today while unpacking a little box of favorite papers.
Its ringing in me today… so I wanted to share it with you again.

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything.
Live the questions now.
Perhaps you will then gradually without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.

~Rainer Maria Rilke

Its a nice morning

It’s a nice morning.

The cat’s tail is swishing to the beat of the music.
The espresso is a hot, potent, morning remedy.
There is a dusting of snow on the ground.
Last nights paintings are dry and waiting for me to play with them again.
All the bills are paid
with enough left over for a pound of good coffee.

Isn’t this a nice Sunday.

Waiting on the paint to dry

Waiting on the paint to dry..

I have been waiting on the paint to dry on my canvas.   I was painting for awhile and then realized I had to step away from it and let it dry.   If I don’t take this necessary step,   I end up with a very murky brown mess on the canvas.  

You can get a lot of good stuff done while waiting for the paint to dry.

That’s my thought for the day.

Little Devil on my shoulder .... perfection

I am often soo hard on myself. I want to do things perfect. Any one else like this??? Yeah I know you are out there. Here’s how it is for me.

I know its my ball and chain… carrying around this expectation to be giving forth my best allllllllll the time. That’s too much pressure, you know.

I unlock the ball often. I get free. I get expressive. I get unconcerned. for awhile. But my Perfectionism is always still lurking somewhere and probably always will be. I’ve made friends with its nature, but like all good enemies I don’t make friends enough to schedule dinner dates. I try to avoid Mrs. Perfect in me. I often tell the little meddler to hop off my shoulder and go take a nap! a long long nap.

SO today I am ranting to that perfectionistic little bully that climbs up there on my shoulder and whispers mean things in my ear. The little mini me that is a perfectionist. The little one that has been told by so many people in this world that everything has to be done RIGHT. or I am not ok.

Hey you- why do you think it has to be perfect. Its ok to be a mess. Its ok to tackle big stuff and do it all wrong in the process. So is this game. People can look. People can laugh. Is that what you are worried about? Try not to worry about that. People can watch you make messes of your life as your trying. If you can get past all that (which is truly a short sentence but a long process) Then you can make more than messes. You can stumble over the messes. Hide the messes in the closet. Or take the messes and slowly turn them in to works of art. I mean I personally find it very hard to paint if I am not allowed to get paint everywhere. In fact I don’t enjoy it if I can’t get some paint on my hands and shirt and the floor and the …. well the canvas.

See you can’t create anything unless you engage with it. Get in it. Right in the middle of it produces the best results. And that can be messy. that process can be full of imperfections.

Yeah… so I tell her that today. And right now she is sleeping. The little devil is sleeping. Ahhh… I can run off and do something imperfect and love it!! I can experiment and tear things up and paint on the walls if I want for the sake of exploration. I can try my best and not care if my best doesn’t impress anyone. I can create things and not care if it doesn’t meet someone elses standards. I can do it out of pure joy. pure love. purest intention.

Habits

Habits.  
How do I form my lifestyle?  Around my habits.
My soul’s best intentions can be helped or hindered by my daily habits.
I woke up this morning thinking about how crucial all this is to my experience of a day. Our move has transplanted me into a new existence.   Much is the same.   I see my small possessions around me.   The little things I have collected here and there…the little pieces that tell stories about me.  But the big stuff around me has all changed.   I always say- “Its amazing… you want to see what you amount to, just move.”  Packed away, as tightly as possible in boxes your stuff shows it’s self as a meaningless accumulation of unsubstantial size.   For all the hard work our society puts in to acquire material possessions, we really have so little to hang on to.  It’s good to see that and know.  

So I sit here in a new house, with my old stuff, and a transformed life.
It’s not the old or the new that I see around me, it’s the old and the new that I feel within me.

My habit for mornings has changed since I have moved into this house.  I am sleeping in a bit later.  And that’s good for me.   Good for the overachiever who has the tendency to take out the trash while drinking morning coffee.  Good for the girl who tries to meditate while writing the grocery list.  (Not the meditating while writing the grocery list is bad if you can handle that kinda thing. )   But it’s good for this girl who does too much and misses the slow stuff too often to change her habits.
Transition helps that process along, I guess.   New habits are forming.

This time here, with the dawn, in my room, with my coffee and silence is doing good in me.  Moving with less haste and more deliberate consciousness.  Not hurrying as much to move faster, but going farther.  Farther in my soul.  Farther in my efforts to be more substantial.   To acquire more wealth in my soul than in boxes.

Let my habits sink into me.  Let them become unstoppable habits.  Let these rituals towards peace be more and more a piece of my character, undetached from who I am.  

Until tomorrow morning….
  

You captivate me

You captivate me
You inspire me
you convince me of my inclination towards creating
something more
Powerful
more Intense
Something heavy resting on my chest
In my soul
In each breath I am taking today
I am thinking of you
and wondering if I can get inside of you

Open the doors to your chest
And let me climb in
Open up and close me inside of you
For awhile
My love

Take me in
And rub your self into me
Shine me with a layer of your self
Polish me
With who you are today
And I will be a better person

I will be more of me
and a touch of you
I am better for knowing you
Better for being beside you
Still myself
add a reflection of you
you who came by me
on my way
to today

Open my soul

Open my soul
Letting everything judgement of me out
Not caring who I am
Being who I am
From the core
Not colored
Not painted
No texture
No race

This is a feeling
A haze that has meaning

Resting
With movement all around me
Nothing to do but soak it up and
Let it pour back out when it reaches the top

~Reflections after going to a drum circle last night and dancing to the beat of the music

Days Pass by Me

Let the days keep passing by me. I'm doing alright.

Its been a month with the wind at my back. There's no need to push or shove to get there, everything has been divinely effortless.
Its good. Its so good when my soul gives in and lets the universe swirl around me. Its so nice to let things go and let things be everything more than you imagined they could be.

Taylor and I said to eachother just months ago. "We're going to wake up soon, and wonder how we got here." It happened sooner than we thought. We're closing on the new house on Monday. One month ago we put the sign in the front yard and now we are already moving in to our dreamiest home yet. This is more than I imagined for "next."
Thank you God of our universe for helping me, us, to believe beyond our expectations.
Life continues to unfold in ways that surprise me. I am not as surprised by what happens, as by how it happens and by the pains or the ease at which things unfold. Its usually only a fuzzy mimics of what I thought it would be like. But the essence of it all is still coming from a place in my heart.

I had a great dream last night.
It was a trip back in time and I saw some great old friends. They reminded me of who I am.
And you know... not much has changed. Some things greatly, yes. But at the core of my core I am still full of the same perplexities and the same marvelous flaws.
I am so grateful.

Its Friday night... and I say "here's to the day... its been a really great string of days."

Very relaxing

Just a little taste of a fall day here at Riverside. This is our last autumn here. I love the way the hard wood floors reflect the light. It feels very much like autumn here today.

I will miss this home when we move. It has been a place that has loved us as much as we have loved this home. So many friends have come and gone through the doors. We have crossed over so many life thresholds...

My Birthday 2006

What an crazy and wonderful birthday. We put our house up for sale on the morning of my birthday. I thought that would be kinda cool. Reflecting the change we hoped would be possible for the coming year of my life.
Wow. We had a full price offer almost before the sign was in the ground. A trip home to Indiana to see my family and experience the fall weather is just what I need now. Now that I have to soak up this whole moving thing. Ahhh. How exciting. What a year its going to be. I can feel it coming.

Learning to Fly

The big girl here gets up every morning and faces the day with a positive attitude and confidence. I am here to assure the doubters, quell anger, and manage all the little trival details of a day. I am here to make things happen and I believe in my ability to do so.
But the litle girl inside of me is hesitant, afraid of failure, still scared of loud yelling voices and people who insist they are right. This little girl still feels nervous when she meets new people and has to make it through auditions of her worthiness in a new crowd. This little girl still wants to cry when things get overwhelming.
My birthday approaches and I reach my annual tradition of celebrating my life's journey. Its time to look at my life and decifer this year's mantra from the puzzle piece of my days behind and ahead. Still Growing. That's this year's Birthday mantra, I believe. I might be all grown up, but inside my human psyche there is still a heart and soul still growing wiser, more mature, and more aware of the complexities of life on planet earth. :)
I picked up a book off the bookshelf this morning that I read several years ago, right before I took the leap away from another familiar place and into total chaos, for the sake of a dream. Learning to Fly, by Sam Keen, is a sixy something year old man's memoir of making a lifelong dream of flying come true on a trapeze. He talked about feeling freedom. A freedom he had not experienced since childhood days spent roaming in the woods behind his house. I understood how this freedom felt... it feels like peace. It feels like being in the right place at the right time. It feels like being who you are really meant to be. I know when I feel this freedom, I often feel it here, when I am writing. I feel it when I am lost in an art project that is expressing my soul. This year I hope I spend more time flying, and less time worrying about falling. I hope I am still growing. I hope I am free.

Tuesday Morning

Ever since I started this "blog thing" I have waffled around it. My days are crazy, and filled with stories fit for writing. My nights are often sleepless, and ripe for midnight moments with these keys, but I still haven't written much. Its ok since no one is reading it. hahaahah Its just a place to be. In my head, a place to sit awhile with other people who are also sitting. ahaahha
I'm not creative in comparison to the young souls I feel coming in behind me. I'm just moving at my own speed. And this is my life, so why would there be anything else for me to be, but me.

This morning my coffee is too strong, so I only sip it and think about everything that is trying to be in the little world immediately surrounding me. There is nervousness in the air, as our lives teeter totter on the edge of selling this house and moving. What's next? Can we get where we are going from here, or is there a detour into unknown seasons?

Only the ticking of the clock will reveal the outcome of this season. Until then I have only to focus on this present moment and what my heart is telling me. I think I will be doing a little bit more writing. I hope some of it ends up here.

beach

I was dreaming of a visit to the beach the other day, and it reminded me to look back at my summer vacation pictures. I can hear the surf.

Its not about what you have.
Its how you think
how you live
how you wear what you have collected through life.

lightening bugs

When's the last time you caught a lightening bug? When's the last time you at least THOUGHT about catching one? or remembered catching them as a child, staying up past your regular bedtime so that you could see the sun set completely.
Tonight the sky is displaying a lightening storm. Its not raining, just displaying... lightening ! in the sky and flying near the grass in my yard.
There's a field I drive by often, where the lightening bugs are too many to count. Its a spectacular site... thousands and thousands of lightening bugs maybe, and nothing but nature and trees surrounding the field. I always imagine to stopping my car to run through the field, and through the field of lightening bugs. I did stop one day to take a picture. You can't quite see the magesty that the field has...but I will share it here with you, and then you can go out and find your own lightening bugs. Don't wait. This summer will be over before we know it.

The night of a summer storm

These are the nights I live for. I can feel my heart. I can feel emotion surfacing in me that are archives from the days I didn’t let emotionally come to the surface. Emotions that have been pushed down in me for days, finally getting a breath of fresh air, and some acknowledgement from my soul.
My skin has the heat of summer in it. I sit here in my summer dress, carressed by the dampness one gets while moving through a June summer day. My skin is kissed with my own dew.
The breeze, as most always, is coming through the window and having conversations with me. The candle is lit, as it should be, and I am relaxed. This is my home of homes.
The only other time today that I have felt relaxed was when I stole to the back porch of the house to sit in a rocker with three year old Grace and watch the storm come in. That was beautiful. I hope I never forget it. It was a fairytale moment that I am sure I had dreamed of experiencing before today. Surely I had hoped for that moment long before. It was a materialization of ideals and photograph coffee table books. It was the scene from a beautiful movie. It was a tiny piece of my childhood, mixed with what I hoped for my own children someday. The thunder rumbled and the trees whispered of the coming rain. The frogs started singing out to each other.... and Grace laughed and talked about how the frogs were talking. It was real for a moment and I sat in a rocking chair and soaked it up.

Live in the Inspiration

My new mantra has been "Live in the Inspiration."
In fact I effortlessly found it dancing in my brain several days last week and realized it was a mantra for my life these days.

Within that moment I grabbed a nearby paper and scribbled it down. The paper soon landed smack dab in the middle of the wall in my dining room. Right where the blank wall had been begging me to hang a new picture where I had taken the old one down. The paper went right over the nail that was potruding from the wall wrecklessly.

Ahhh... I no longer had to look at that wall and feel disgruntled that I hadn't yet replaced the artwork. No more pressure. Just inspiration.

By the way... in the midst of inspiration, the wall was refreshed with the perfect artwork just a few days later. Ahhh... all in the moment of inspiration.

Life is so much easier when I remember to LIVE IN THE INSPIRATION.

What are You going to do with You?

"hmm?" I said, distracted.
And she looked up at me and said louder this time "What are you going to do with you?"

She is 3 and a half and is used to hearing me say "What are We going to do with You!" when she does something adorable or silly.

Her question was innocently copying my style, with no real intentions of alarming me. On this day it did alarm me though. I was already caught up in an inward state of tension and confusion.
Her question was piercing, and I thought about it all day long. What am I going to do with me!
hahahhah

dining in the "garden"

We had a marvelous dinner on the back porch tonight. After spending the better part of the day biking at Shelby, I was set to spend the rest of my Memorial Day weekend relaxing. I did little bits of nothing all afternoon. my favorite kind of piddling. Taylor got inspired by the Food Network's grilling special and started creating his own grilling masterpieces. He made mahi mahi with an original, sparky grilling paste that he concocted in the kitchen. It was spicy and suprising. I had never had such great mahi before. He also grilled corn on the cob, and made up another original- cajan cole slaw. Delicious... I sneeked three bowls before dinner! The dinner conversaton was mostly "ummm, ummm."
We sat under our deck canopy and ate ice cream and drank coffee until the sun went down. Then we watered our deck garden by moonlight and flickering candles. This is the kind of extraordinary ordinary days I love to experience.

It's all there already...tap in.

Its all there already…
already tucked deep down inside me
but I am in this process of pulling it forth from me.
extracting this gold from my humble and ragged life.

I just keep thinking
its in me.
its already in me
I need not be any more than I am already.
already
its already in me
I just keep thinking
that it comes up to the surface
when I fall into the beaten path and let life trample over me
that’s when I find the glory
I can’t pull it up
it comes up
when the day has grown old
and my eyes have seen much much love
I just keep thinking
I wish I could bring more to the surface for air
to breathe on the world
Its in me. Its already in me
How can I open up my soul wider
so that we can get more out of me faster
more! faster!
i want to give to the world
when I get anxious and excited and eager to pull up the love from inside me
that’s usually when I realize I have to walk away
and lay back down in the beaten path
let life trample over me
let people come to me
and before I know it
I see it all again
water
flowing up to the surface of the ground
it comes fast and high and covers the land
until we all rush to tap into it and find a way to spread it around in little containers

Someone please write me a permission slip

Someone please write me a permission slip!
Please tell me that what I am doing is ok.

Tell me that "being realistic" doesn’t mean I must place limits on the ideals.
Tell me that being truly being realistic is an unusual thing.
Tell me that being realistic means recognizing what is real.
Love is real.
People are real.
Emotions are real.
Dreams are real.
Give me permission not to ignore what is real.
Give me permission to go ahead … already knowing that being openly honest has its own sacrifice
Reality doesn’t always feel comfortable.
Reality isn’t predictable
Reality’s rules are negotiable.
Give me permission to accept this and still embark on the challenge to be real.

Anonymous Conversations with Creation

Sometimes I close my eyes at night and communicate with the universe. Everything inside of me comes alive as it cannot in the day. Every bit of laughter, emotion, love… comes to rest in one place, at one time. It is then that everything collides and we arrive in the middle of eternity.
Do You understand?
Everyone born has understood at some point…but few have developed the endurance to hold long conversation with the whispering voice .
When I sit in a coffee house drinking… I look around at the many faces and wonder who else is pursuing the truth with me. There is not always a marked distinction… faithful hearts are often quiet until the divine moment when they are sure to speak.
When the divine moments become visible to my blind eyes, I have words.
Sometimes I am willing to speak.
But more often my written words are kept.
For now, I just talk quietly with God’s universe, all of creation… every day, but especially at night when the world around me becomes quiet enough for me to be able to listen what is replied to me.
When I get up from writing, I will get busy doing many little things. I will ease back into something less intense and I may even wonder where these words came from. My present.. right now.. is an "unbounded place" somewhere between heaven and earth, where another kind of awareness guides me. Its nearly like dreaming while awake. When I stumble onto it, I try to hold everything in place for as long as I can. I breathe deeply and try to capture it inside me, for the littlest distractions can take it all away. It is a perfect prayer … its as if all my senses understand the world perfectly for a moment. The music I hear is in tune with my soul. The air smells intoxicating. The breeze around me takes my breath. Its divine. Its even quite euphoric. But eventually my mind drifts and I can’t find the intuition. I am not as sure. I continue on, content in the daily life, and have patience, because I know that this higher meditation will eventually return to me.
I am apprehensive to share anything that I have arrived at while in this state. Its clearly so intimate, concentrated… real life is magnified to a clarity that is hard to understand in ordinary time. Its odd for me to read my words in the sunlight, in the morning, when life is clamoring all around. These words were born in a sacred place. It makes my stomach churn to think my words could first meet someone in the blinding sunlight, exposed in the daytime… in a place so far from the perfect peace it was born into.
I want to know…When people have things to share with the world… how do they release it all? When the spirit breathes into me, I am overwhelmed ..and some of this breath is exhausted. How does one embrace all that comes with letting go? How does one let go of "self" long enough to speak to those who are wanting to hear? How can speakers speak? and singers sing? writers write? to anyone who wants to hear….. for, there is someone out there who wants to receive what the presenter gives……. But it may only be one person. Can one accept that they may never know why they felt the insistence to say what they said….may never know if someone needed to receive what we had to give.
And is difficult as sharing with the world may be… it is sometimes easier than with one person. Its not as hard for me to give to the larger whole when the inspiration hits me. I feel a greater sense of hope that someone out there needs what I have been inspired to reveal. But what about when I stumble on the words in my head for one person?
These words are being written with a direct destination to you. Why? Right now I don’t even know how you would ever read them. Why did these words come to me just now?
I did feel connected over a distance once before. I remember I was One in a Crowd. I was One inspired. You graciously shared a portrait of yourself with strangers and acquaintances when you sang and when you spoke. You spoke and I responded. I couldn’t say anything out loud, but I responded. Something inside me had a craving to be doing what you were doing. I wanted to sing and write and speak OUTLOUD too. I wanted to join in. I really wanted to be a part of something larger than myself.
Along the way, I have learned discernment but I may have compromised my fearlessness. Suddenly I find myself holding back where I would have been running forward. I am guarded. I question myself where I once belive. I think maybe I shouldn’t speak, shouldn’t write, shouldn’t give my joyful creations, shouldn’t be …. Is it unnecessary shame? What am I ashamed of. My self? My thoughts? My words? My desire to be more than I feel I deserve to be? What keeps my from giving freely where I feel God has invited me to be ?
People stroll through our lives and teach us things. People become mirrors in which we recognize ourselves. I don’t idolize you. I distinguished something in who you are trying to become that makes sense. You had the chance to speak . I wanted to speak my words too. You let go and made music. I wanted to sing out and make music also.
I may learn to write songs for my sole ears to hear. I may forever speak quietly with the universe. But I will keep pursuing my truth. I feel my strong spirit begging me to try and find some unknown strength in my body. I know I can someday run further than I am today. I just don’t know how yet.
Do you understand me when I say ..
I am completely satisfied with today, but I could not be satisfied if I was not expecting manifestation tomorrow? Even if you could no longer express your self, would you still seek to understand what others try to capture from your expressed honesty? Do you look people in the eyes and wonder if they will ever see as deeply into their soul as you can at that very moment? Do you desire more than anything to be a catalyst that dares love on earth to purify? Would you still write even if you knew you would never be able to openly share your thoughts? Do you find that the people and beliefs that you run from are the shoulders that carry you farther? Do you see farther than the shoulders you are sitting on and wonder who will challenge you again? Do you revel in the same world you are seeking to leave behind? Are you a contemplative that loves to sit with the crowds? Do you find that no matter how far your heart travels, the answers remain as true as before? When you paint pictures of what you want to be in the end, are you able to blur the lines into pure color and form and still see yourself defined? The inspiration you so desperately seek is Fuel… where do you want it to carry you?

I look for others who engage in conversation with the universe….with God’s creation. I don’t necessarily need to find answers…I just need to communicate in discourse with all LIFE around me. I am praying so that God will be able to lead me to more discussion with all He has created. I find that I am attentive to those who are willing to speak on behalf of this longing in all of us. The place where the questions are formed is also where the answers will be found. I haven’t discovered all the questions and I am still delighting in the mystery of the answers.
I feel that my name and my identity as an individual is so trivial within these words. I want to exchange words, without speaking with this voice I know so well. I want to lose my daily identity and dive deeper into the identity that I share with all people and with everything that God created. …..no one needs a given name when having conversations with the universe. For a moment, it doesn’t matter the color of my hair or eyes. I strive to become more complete in the day time. But at night when I turn out the lights I find my perfection in the stillness.
I try to be wise whenever one of my crazy ideas comes to mind. I am full of crazy dreams and aspirations. My playful side is so fanatical! I try to be cautious but sometimes I feel I am stepping forward with agonizingly slow steps… other times I just go! And let my ambition lead. I want to try… even when I don’t have full confidence. I want more of life! I have to be wise. I have to be honest. I have to listen to some of my wild longings!
I remember the honesty you had in your words. And your fearlessness. How were you able? It irritated me… challenged me.. dared me to find my words … and so I am looking tonight.
In my literature class this year I read SorJuana. She corresponded with different religious/political leaders and challenged their teachings and rules.. I loved her works because they were letters. Not just written and lost… they were sent to someone else to read and tear apart, or argue, or soothe. Her words didn’t just vanish…. And they didn’t just sit and wait for her to die. Her words always had a destination.
Would you still write if you knew your words had no destination?
I don’t think I could. I always write to an audience. I really haven’t delivered much to an audience… but when my words go onto paper my heart speaks to a particular person or people in spirit. Yes, my words always have a destination. Usally the destination is in another place and time far far away.…a place I imagine getting to someday.
My collection of words is waiting for me to arrive in readiness. But I’m not ready. I may be choosing this hesitantcy. Maybe I am waiting for another moment of divinity. In the meantime I am looking for a place for the words to ripen while they wait patiently for me to arrive in their aspired destination.
I am looking for a roundtable. When I arrive in the midst of the questions and the answers, I want to rise above preconceived expectations and answers and see the world beyond my eyes. I want to ask new questions and find old answers again. And new answers. Many dislike my questions. They want to strike back with answers they have heard others reply. I want to know what we haven’t’ heard yet. They have already decided on answers for me and all of humanity. I want to see more. I want to ask more questions about the people who are trying to embrace God. I want to understand where heaven and earth meet. Why do so few know the ecstasy? Why do so few know the grace? Are they seeking truth or comfort?
If you are already certain you know who I am, that’s ok. I don’t care if you have a picture in your mind. I don’t care if you know my name. My core is rich and flowing. My external identity is shaken up by my suroundings. That’s why I love that words capture both our soul and our stories.
I want to explore words with someone who is far away….someone I won’t run into… someone away from my life, and my activity, and my busy-ness. I want to forget the details and share words. For then, the words can be written only when its needed. The words can avoid the unnecessary and let the questions and answers evolve …but only if they do so naturally. Words are borne when they are ready. My daily life is not as simple as my quiet time with God. My outward life has a hard time keeping up with the purification of my soul. I have no eloquence.
You are far away in distance, but I sense that your soul is searching near mine. I quietly invite everyone to the discussion….. but most can’t hear my invitation… it is whispered by my soul.
But now, with words, I invite You to this discussion…... to correspond .. about your own quiet conversations with life… What do you do with all of your words….. they have a dream destination don’t they???? All words beg to be heard someday. What do you do with them while they are waiting to be spoken… where do you hold the words you use to write songs. Who is there for the process? Who asks the next question? How are you assured of your divinity?
Words are meant to communicate….. they speak and they wait for a reply.
The first words Speak out…. and wait for a Reply…the Reply then speaks again … and waits for another Reply…. A cycle of exploration…. A processes of gaining clarity… an effortless process….randomly dotted across time… happening with the life that beats around the words. What happens if there is no process of evolution? Do the words just die?
Relax and see what leads you….. the answers and the words always come naturally or disappear … if given time. If your thoughts and words need a place to go… they will find a way.