Little Devil on my shoulder .... perfection

I am often soo hard on myself. I want to do things perfect. Any one else like this??? Yeah I know you are out there. Here’s how it is for me.

I know its my ball and chain… carrying around this expectation to be giving forth my best allllllllll the time. That’s too much pressure, you know.

I unlock the ball often. I get free. I get expressive. I get unconcerned. for awhile. But my Perfectionism is always still lurking somewhere and probably always will be. I’ve made friends with its nature, but like all good enemies I don’t make friends enough to schedule dinner dates. I try to avoid Mrs. Perfect in me. I often tell the little meddler to hop off my shoulder and go take a nap! a long long nap.

SO today I am ranting to that perfectionistic little bully that climbs up there on my shoulder and whispers mean things in my ear. The little mini me that is a perfectionist. The little one that has been told by so many people in this world that everything has to be done RIGHT. or I am not ok.

Hey you- why do you think it has to be perfect. Its ok to be a mess. Its ok to tackle big stuff and do it all wrong in the process. So is this game. People can look. People can laugh. Is that what you are worried about? Try not to worry about that. People can watch you make messes of your life as your trying. If you can get past all that (which is truly a short sentence but a long process) Then you can make more than messes. You can stumble over the messes. Hide the messes in the closet. Or take the messes and slowly turn them in to works of art. I mean I personally find it very hard to paint if I am not allowed to get paint everywhere. In fact I don’t enjoy it if I can’t get some paint on my hands and shirt and the floor and the …. well the canvas.

See you can’t create anything unless you engage with it. Get in it. Right in the middle of it produces the best results. And that can be messy. that process can be full of imperfections.

Yeah… so I tell her that today. And right now she is sleeping. The little devil is sleeping. Ahhh… I can run off and do something imperfect and love it!! I can experiment and tear things up and paint on the walls if I want for the sake of exploration. I can try my best and not care if my best doesn’t impress anyone. I can create things and not care if it doesn’t meet someone elses standards. I can do it out of pure joy. pure love. purest intention.