tiny steps

Often. very often.
I find that the tiny steps are the ones that really take me places.
the tiny steps all strung in a row are the steps that lead me into my life and down the path I am creating for me.

I have had some disappointing news today and it slowed me for a little while this morning. But I realize that I am not really upset. It doesn't feel like anything has really changed much by hearing this news. I still know who I am. I know what I am creating. & I'll just keep taking all these tiny little steps in the direction life is leading me.

There are things in my life that I would like to create that seem just barely out of my reach. I'm a reacher.. a dreamer... and a creator. so its a little frustrating. it is.

but its practice. practice in being present. being here. and living in the beautiful space and moment I have created for today. not tomorrow, but today.

future thinkers, future see-ers have a hard time being present. well, at least thats how it is for me. It is my gift to practice being HERE. NOW.

summer has hinted to being present in the wind today.
relaxation is here. now.
and i get to sit in it. right in the middle of it. if I can.

touch the moment

this morning was a morning when my heart woke heavy
and my body heavier still

i was skipping rope,
i tripped and fell
i scrapped my knee
and i got scared
the song got stuck
it skipped with me

and i just looked up at the sky
sitting on the asphalt
the center of a spinning world

the sky was dark
the wind was low
the world was moving
i stayed still

~~~

i am not especially right with my words but that is really ok
the morning is adjusting quickly
I know where to go when my heart is heavy
I know how to heal
I know how to bring the emotions up to the surface,kiss them and hold them and let them go...... ahhh releasing.
I know how to soothe the sad sad girl
pick her up and give her a new song

I am forever grateful for my sacred space, the room over the world, where I sit and look out at the sky.
that little room is always where my fingers touch the stars and the magic
and finding morning light in one hand and star dust in the other hand allows me to move again
to dance
and sing
and
live free
again

painting the moon

Every time I sit here I am new. the simple act of connecting to the space here, releases old and stale words from me... and juicy new life comes in. squeezed out of the fruit and fresh for me. juicy colors waiting to paint sweetness on me.

The cycles repeat and I love them. the inspirations revisit me time and time again, like sweet angels, with dancing feet and wings that carry them. the goodness is brought back to me. carried in ceremoniously with laughter.

Get ready little world around me. I am cleaning again... and that always means change is in the air. little piles of dust are gathering in my broom and new colors are dripping from my paintbrush
the walls change colors and my soul changes hues. again I am here. again I am grateful

thank you to the sun that carried me into this day
watch as I renew the world today
thank you to the moon that will hold me tonight when i fall asleep.
the paintbrush in my hand
will drip colors
on the moon
I will drift asleep
and wake to realize the moon has been
painted by me

open and close the door of vulnerability

Vulnerability is fascinating to me...
because it is my pleasure and my pain.

I am travelling through this life, walking through my days, expressing my soul each day as best I know how. feeling my life and being present. healing my little broken pieces and growing in every breath I take. enjoying myself. really enjoying my life.

I know a lot. but not as much as the universe.
I feel a lot, but not the same everyday. not every moment

I often tell people I have an open heart. some days the door on the front of me is open like the door to my house. You know I open up the door to my house... often I just open it and say to the busy street... "hello. you are invited here. the door is open neighborhood!" I shout it from my soul. and sometimes when I do this I laugh, because people have told me that is odd. ahhaha "so." (have you seen the SO letters I have on my mantel....thats what these letters are for... SO.... ) SO what if its odd. I like opening up the door. I like letting people in. I like having open house. And I like opening my heart and exploring the vulnerability.

But, yes... sometimes I get sad, or I get tired and I decide not to be so vulnerable, so open and so revealing for awhile. I put up some boundaries and rest in my room, under a cover, under a cloud of protection, with angels and guards around me. Sometimes these are the moments I need to heal, or to cry or to stop being so free. sometimes I just need to explore a lack of vulnerability.

but usually.. after these journeys into my extreme... I realize that my vulnerabilities are so beautiful and so incapable of being truly protected. only healed and made whole in the sunshine, in the air in the moments of truth and light.

ahhhhh (i take a very deep breath)
it feels wonderful in me
accepting the gift of vulnerability
bathing in the sunlight when I open the door.
knowing that being vulnerable
the right, balanced degree of vulnerable
sometimes completely open
sometimes with healthy boundaries

this vulnerablity
is being free




*** writing this was a chance to practice more vulnerability :) :)