Underneath Naked

where are you going from here?

its ok if you don't know.
but would you like to find out?
would you like some clarity?
whats your sense of identity?

do you know who you are?
underneath naked

thats what I call it. the underneath of the barest bare. who are you there.
who are you when all your friends have walked away
when all your layers of identity-constructed have been hung back on a hanger neatly, or tossed on a floor somewhere near the hamper. when your hairs a mess and your face has softened... who are you underneath that?

who are you
when its just you
with you
sitting in the middle of the universe
at night


thats what I want to know.
thats WHO i want to know.

and when you know that about yourself...
then you can see more clearly where you are going from here.
or
or
you can just sit here and be
YOU.

can you?

or are you just hanging in the balance with all the stuff you have poised around you, all the people who hug you and tell you "you're fabulous" and you believe them because you don't really believe in yourself at all without them there?

do you believe in you?
do you believe in your power underneath all those layers of identity?

I do.
For every single one of you... i see that layer under the layers... and I love you.
i love your struggles
i love your reaching for more.
i love it in me.
and I love it in You.

craving some kind of enjoyment
some kind of satisfaction with self
and searching for it desperately
sometimes lost
sometimes more focused
but looking for
your self.

looking for your identity
and then
the layer under that identity
the center of your soul
and thats where we connect
thats where we know eachother
no names needed
no cool sunglasses
no "looks" no outfits, no nothing
but you

and then we can pile it all back on again and play with ourEXPRESSION of self and learn about ourselves all over again. add the colors, the choices, the style, the layers.
i like it all.

I don't want no substitutions...

I keep hearing Aretha Franklin singing " I can't get no satisfaction...."
except instead I am hearing.... "I don't want no substitutions"

why.... because I can't really get no satisfaction with the substitutions.

I have always been a bit of an idealist.
I like the best.
I want the best.
I crave the best.

the best experience ... especially.

and maybe even, as I have grown, I realize that the best in most material things is rather pointless, and its the experiences that I am most compelled to chase.

I have a pure desire for that which will most fully satisfy me.
I am not looking for half hearted, unintentional, and flippant dives into the gully of experience.
don't give me a murky water pool
I prefer crystal aqua pools with sparkling sunshine

satisfy with more depth.
satisfy with real conversation.
real vision.
real self.

I want to have fun. I want to enjoy myself.
But where do so many go for all this satisfaction?
......to a shallow grave.
putting off REAL satisfaction.
delaying genuine pleasure
for quick buzzes of happiness that blow away in the breeze at the end of the day
put to sleep with a shot
and a wish
maybe something will come along another day?

I don't' want this substitution.
I want genuine satisfaction

sometimes this requires a little more depth of attention
to self
to others
but at the end of the day.
and at the end of my life here
i plan on saying
I got my satisfaction !