each morning

Each morning I have the opportunity to step into my day.
step with power into the new sun
and the new present moment

sticky heavy sludge from yesterday was shed in the night
and when you pull out of it, one foot at a time
escaping into the morning light
you know that bathing in waterfalls of morning dew
can free you from
everything your head ever thought in the darkness

in the morning there is truth
because i grab it
in the morning this is hope
because i follow it
in the morning there is love
because i know it
in the morning there is purpose
because i choose it

In the morning the vastness of my life opportunity
wraps around me in ten thousand circles and creates a quilt of goodness to hold me and rock me while i dream of the day
Undefined self breathes and inhales all possibility for living
in this moment
this one moment
i am Alive
i am Love

get it here...

where are you gonna get what you want?
right here.

right in this moment.
here is the place i define my experience.
now is the time i choose what i want.

yesterday i imagined many possibilities
yesterday the future had a direction..
but TODAY is where we can change the plans. redirect the visions
and adjust every detail for even more pleasure. even more love
even more of what i want.

if you hold to tightly to the visions for tomorrow that you made yesterday, you give up the chance to make whats next even better than you first imagined.

and thats where i am now.
imagining more refined details in THIS moment.
and i'll keep doing that in each NEW moment of NOW.

and i'll keep getting more and more of what i most enjoy in the moment.

thats the privilege of being conscious

wise words for today

Avoid basing your responses on how you believe someone will react. Instead of weighing your words, just say them, but do it in a way that also conveys your kindness and flexibility. Others will be so appreciative to know how you truly feel that they won't care if you disagree with them.

i only had one match

i only had one match tonight.
i looked down at it and something burned in me.
i lit my candle on my desk and i opened the window as wide as it could open.

the breeze is blowing in and it feels just like summer
i am listening to good music and i feel so fabulous and mellow
this is the bliss of evening
alone with this moment

.........

so many thoughts have been roaming around in my head this weekend that i reallly don't know how to write in words.
maybe i'll just write it with my life
live it out

****

love more
love myself more
because its always about me
it always comes back to me
loving me

and if i have only one match.... i'm going to light the fire in my own heart
and watch that flame warm me
and those who come closer
will be warmed by
love that starts in me and burns wide around me

morning in the sunshine

i'd like to dance in the morning sun
and sing yeah yeah yeah
i'd like to untie my heartstrings
and reach my arms up over my head and
sing yeah yeah yeah

i'd like to kiss my wishes
and call in the longing and say
oh yeah yeah yeah

I am amazed by the moment.
this present moment.
where the sun sprinkles on the toes of my feet
and the music in the air fills the lungs so fully
the body is humming along.

right here is here for me
i am limitless
i am love
every corner of love


and i am saying
yeah yeah yeah

How Wide Can you Open the Doors to your Heart?

how wide can you open the doors to your heart?
will you open yourself to love ..... even if you have been hurt before?
or will you close yourself and hide away.

how wide can you open the doors to your heart?
can you let love in ?

each day
each and every moment we inhale a breath
we have a chance to let love in.
or we have a chance to hold it out. push it away.
will you let love in?

how open can you be? how much love can you let in
how long can you hold the doors open before you get scared and start to pull away?
imagining a memory repeated again today. but not necessarily.

how far have you taught yourself to walk on that sometimes frightening path of sweet surrender.

can you hold the doors open with your own two hands
when the emergency light starts flashing and the automatic lock down starts closing all the windows, pulling all the doors shut and sounding the alarms.
can you hold the doors open anyway. right then.
hold them there and breath?
hold the doors open and let love in anyway.
let it pour into you
in the midst of fear


ahh let it rain
let it rain
let it rain
let it rain love on the open door to your heart

and when you stand there with the tears in your eyes and your hand on your heart
trying to love
know that you are here choosing more
choosing more
love
more rain
let it pour
let it pour
let it rain on you

beautiful soul
beautiful darling soul
let your heart stay open when you want to
put up that stone cold wall of silence.
resist
resist that
and fall into love instead

open the doors to your heart and let love stay flowing in and out with you
through you
to you
from you

~dedicated to the moment when the heart wants to close up and hide away.
& in honor of the moment when we can walk even farther into love instead

this was written while it rained today

i wanna talk to you

its evening..
and i find myself here at the end of my day, quite chilled out and happy feeling.

lots of thoughts swimming around. and I have a strong desire for connection to the world of people a round me today. i am mentally very talkative.
so many cool people walking around....
so many people I would like to talk to. some that i did connect with... others i just watched walk by. we smiled. some of us said hello.
so many of you people out there... and I wanna talk to you.

what do you think?
where do you want to go? do you like to travel? how far are you willing to travel? how long could you stay?

what do you wake up for in the morning?
what keeps you interested?
in your life....


is there something guiding you?
or do you just kinda fumble around?
not that there is really anything wrong with fumbling ... sometimes thats where the best stuff happens... on the way to nowhere in particular.

in fact i think i might like all the meandering path kinda stuff more than the specific destination.

but anyway.
what do you think? because i like talking about what you think.
ahahha

really i do.
i like people.
i like how we are all connected somehow.
even those of us who seem so far away .... have some line of connection.
and that amuses my mind.

so hey world. hey people.
consider a little more connection. a little more talking. sharing. exchanging.
i think it might be good for all of us.
maybe offer us something different. something more.
and i like the idea of that.

in a moment

in a moment
i felt my heart beat
i felt my head think
i felt myself
in touch with the universe around me

i felt connected
touching
rubbing together
with the life around me
like music rubbing against the inside of the speakers.
pushing hard enough against the surface to push through and travel
sound
loud and speaking out loud

in a moment
everything disconnected can connect
in a moment
rays of sunshine light can dance on my eyelids
in a moment
i can see everything clearly

Underneath Naked

where are you going from here?

its ok if you don't know.
but would you like to find out?
would you like some clarity?
whats your sense of identity?

do you know who you are?
underneath naked

thats what I call it. the underneath of the barest bare. who are you there.
who are you when all your friends have walked away
when all your layers of identity-constructed have been hung back on a hanger neatly, or tossed on a floor somewhere near the hamper. when your hairs a mess and your face has softened... who are you underneath that?

who are you
when its just you
with you
sitting in the middle of the universe
at night


thats what I want to know.
thats WHO i want to know.

and when you know that about yourself...
then you can see more clearly where you are going from here.
or
or
you can just sit here and be
YOU.

can you?

or are you just hanging in the balance with all the stuff you have poised around you, all the people who hug you and tell you "you're fabulous" and you believe them because you don't really believe in yourself at all without them there?

do you believe in you?
do you believe in your power underneath all those layers of identity?

I do.
For every single one of you... i see that layer under the layers... and I love you.
i love your struggles
i love your reaching for more.
i love it in me.
and I love it in You.

craving some kind of enjoyment
some kind of satisfaction with self
and searching for it desperately
sometimes lost
sometimes more focused
but looking for
your self.

looking for your identity
and then
the layer under that identity
the center of your soul
and thats where we connect
thats where we know eachother
no names needed
no cool sunglasses
no "looks" no outfits, no nothing
but you

and then we can pile it all back on again and play with ourEXPRESSION of self and learn about ourselves all over again. add the colors, the choices, the style, the layers.
i like it all.

I don't want no substitutions...

I keep hearing Aretha Franklin singing " I can't get no satisfaction...."
except instead I am hearing.... "I don't want no substitutions"

why.... because I can't really get no satisfaction with the substitutions.

I have always been a bit of an idealist.
I like the best.
I want the best.
I crave the best.

the best experience ... especially.

and maybe even, as I have grown, I realize that the best in most material things is rather pointless, and its the experiences that I am most compelled to chase.

I have a pure desire for that which will most fully satisfy me.
I am not looking for half hearted, unintentional, and flippant dives into the gully of experience.
don't give me a murky water pool
I prefer crystal aqua pools with sparkling sunshine

satisfy with more depth.
satisfy with real conversation.
real vision.
real self.

I want to have fun. I want to enjoy myself.
But where do so many go for all this satisfaction?
......to a shallow grave.
putting off REAL satisfaction.
delaying genuine pleasure
for quick buzzes of happiness that blow away in the breeze at the end of the day
put to sleep with a shot
and a wish
maybe something will come along another day?

I don't' want this substitution.
I want genuine satisfaction

sometimes this requires a little more depth of attention
to self
to others
but at the end of the day.
and at the end of my life here
i plan on saying
I got my satisfaction !

oh you beautiful people

I'm floating out here on the ocean just noticing all the waves I can ride. people drifting by me.... and I am fascinated. entirely fascinated by the lives of everyone. i must admit a beautiful curiosity that compels me to stare.
beautiful you.
and you.
and you.
ah. you beautiful sexy delicious people all around me.

i love watching you live.

does God feel like me?
able to see even more... and just awe inspired by the way people walk and breathe and sleep.

even more

I've been a little restless. I've been feeling the edges of my life inch outwards to create a larger map around me.
everything I have enjoyed... i still enjoy.
i still love the taste, still savor the memories.
but the edges of my boundaries are swaying.

the water in the bathtub overflowed yesterday when I got in... bubbles sloshed onto the floor and splattered. i liked the sound.
i loved the hot hot too hot water that wrapped me up and got the back of my hair wet even though i had it all swooped up with a clip.
i floated on the waves of my bathtub ocean.

everyday can be better than the last???
is this really true?
can each present moment fully satisfy me
me?
i am searching out the fullest enjoyment of life.
i want it all.
i have written this many times in my journals. i want it all.
and do i really think i can have it all.
in my depth of being i do.
my never ending body of being that reaches to the edges of the universe is tasting every flavor. lick lick guzzle guzzle up the goodness

and its not all "good"
some of it is painful, some of it is stretching limits, exploring what we do not want. but that is good too really..

but... i am here today thinking about what i DO want!
and I want even more.
i am drawing the line around me just a little larger and timidly stepping out another mile in my perimeter.
new boundary.
new willingness.

*****

You can put your Mind in Order....

You can put your mind in order by focusing on one thing at a time, doing it well, and appreciating the opportunity that this doing offers.
You can put your life in order by admitting to yourself what you really want to experience, and taking one step at a time that will move you closer to that experience.
You can put your environment in order by clearing out the old, worn-out, broken, and useless things that are taking up space.
You can put your spirit in order by replacing fearful, doubtful, angry thoughts with thoughts about the grace of God, and by accepting that God’s purpose, plan and will for you is the orderly development of your soul’s identity.

~ author unknown

love love love

world. great universe around me.
do you feel love?
is there love swirling through the atmosphere of the soul.

is there enough love to save my soul??
oh i know there is.
i feel it hold me at night.
i feel it when the breeze blows just right and the wisps of hair on my head, bend over and kiss my face
i know the love when the day is over and i watch the candle dance and jump and act out my desires in a half inch of space.
dancing, playing, lighting up the world
i know love in the morning when my coffee cup is full and pours into me... warmth and vision barreling in, to light my brain and set my pen on fire with ideas
i know love when i slide into the bathtub and stare at the blue ceiling, the one with stars painted in silver and shining for me
i know love
i create love
and love is overflowing in me
overflowing

the love is in self. self love that reverbs, responds, recreates all around me
this is where i start today.
self love that comes back around like the sun that i see again and again everyday
may the world feel the love begin in self and travel the distance of the globe

moving quickly.... while hibernating

I have been focused on allowing myself to hibernate this winter... when the sun goes down and I feel sleepy, I grab my blankets and find a spot on the couch to dream. And i am dreaming powerful dreams.

I am moving quickly in my dreams.
& one can soar through time, passing decades at a time... all while dreaming.

its so easy. so very easy.

thats really all I have to say today... I think I will go back to my little corner where I am hibernating with my computer today. I am writing down all these dreams while I can still remember them....