even more

I've been a little restless. I've been feeling the edges of my life inch outwards to create a larger map around me.
everything I have enjoyed... i still enjoy.
i still love the taste, still savor the memories.
but the edges of my boundaries are swaying.

the water in the bathtub overflowed yesterday when I got in... bubbles sloshed onto the floor and splattered. i liked the sound.
i loved the hot hot too hot water that wrapped me up and got the back of my hair wet even though i had it all swooped up with a clip.
i floated on the waves of my bathtub ocean.

everyday can be better than the last???
is this really true?
can each present moment fully satisfy me
me?
i am searching out the fullest enjoyment of life.
i want it all.
i have written this many times in my journals. i want it all.
and do i really think i can have it all.
in my depth of being i do.
my never ending body of being that reaches to the edges of the universe is tasting every flavor. lick lick guzzle guzzle up the goodness

and its not all "good"
some of it is painful, some of it is stretching limits, exploring what we do not want. but that is good too really..

but... i am here today thinking about what i DO want!
and I want even more.
i am drawing the line around me just a little larger and timidly stepping out another mile in my perimeter.
new boundary.
new willingness.

*****