Learning to Fly

The big girl here gets up every morning and faces the day with a positive attitude and confidence. I am here to assure the doubters, quell anger, and manage all the little trival details of a day. I am here to make things happen and I believe in my ability to do so.
But the litle girl inside of me is hesitant, afraid of failure, still scared of loud yelling voices and people who insist they are right. This little girl still feels nervous when she meets new people and has to make it through auditions of her worthiness in a new crowd. This little girl still wants to cry when things get overwhelming.
My birthday approaches and I reach my annual tradition of celebrating my life's journey. Its time to look at my life and decifer this year's mantra from the puzzle piece of my days behind and ahead. Still Growing. That's this year's Birthday mantra, I believe. I might be all grown up, but inside my human psyche there is still a heart and soul still growing wiser, more mature, and more aware of the complexities of life on planet earth. :)
I picked up a book off the bookshelf this morning that I read several years ago, right before I took the leap away from another familiar place and into total chaos, for the sake of a dream. Learning to Fly, by Sam Keen, is a sixy something year old man's memoir of making a lifelong dream of flying come true on a trapeze. He talked about feeling freedom. A freedom he had not experienced since childhood days spent roaming in the woods behind his house. I understood how this freedom felt... it feels like peace. It feels like being in the right place at the right time. It feels like being who you are really meant to be. I know when I feel this freedom, I often feel it here, when I am writing. I feel it when I am lost in an art project that is expressing my soul. This year I hope I spend more time flying, and less time worrying about falling. I hope I am still growing. I hope I am free.